Early Tuesday evening following an over-scheduled, action-packed day of school, play practice, soccer, homework, piano practice and a quick meal of broccoli with fish sticks, ten year old Michael Storrs of Burlingham, Vermont sat down to write a story on his father’s Mac Book created by Apple: the cutting-edge technology company known for its sleekly designed, user-friendly, computer products.
As Michael worked on the finer points of the story he abruptly lost interest in his project when the family’s black lab Russell nudged him with a squeak toy. Before the game of fetch got underway,
It was at this point, that Maggie sternly told Michael to please clear his father’s computer of the unwanted informational scraps in a socially responsible way. Michael anxious to get back to his dog went to the laptop and clicked on his unfinished story, “Bam, the untold story of a louse”. He then proceeded to drag the unwanted item through a minefield of other icons reputedly known for snatching unsuspecting pieces of information in transit. At last when Michael arrived at the designated bin, he let out a scream! "Maaam! Daaad! MAC only has TRASH, No Recycling! WHAT SHOULD I DO?" The environmentally conscientious family who recently switched from an IBM Personal Computer to a Macintosh because of its trendy design and easy to use features was reasonably baffled and somewhat discombobulated. PC's desktop has a RECYCLE BIN! How could they have been so careless? Unsure what to do and feeling extremely sheepish, the family called the police to report an environmental management violation. When city police arrived at the scene, they found the squander-free family in shock. Mr. Thierry Storrs was catatonic and his wife Maggie was stuck to the refrigerator. Michael fortunately kept his wits about
him and helped emergency personnel release his Mom from the refrigerator using a 2 inch wide silicon band designed to interrupt magnetic fields. He then managed to get his dad to close his eyes. “It’s just so wasteful to throw away perfectly good information!” Michael commented.
"I think we'll have to dump Mac the way Mac dumps information”! Consumers agree. Reports of Mac’s reckless information waste management procedures leaked to major news networks causing Apple Computer’s stock to plummet as PC sales made by Gateway, IBM and Dell skyrocketed. In an effort to protect itself, Apple immediately shut down commercial operations to meet with its board of directors in a closed door emergency brainstorm session. The CEO of Apple issued this statement. “We are fruit. As members of the fruit family, we understand the importance of environmental impact studies. We promise to examine our information disposal policies to make Apple greener. Until that time we recommend that you save everything!
- Mac Consumers Cry Out! Cluttered Desktops Stop Traffic on Information Highway!
- Feds investigate Information Disposal Methods. Apple's CEO deposed in Court!
- Champ & Gertie return Apples to local grocery to buy Pears after becoming linguistically confused by news stories claiming that Apple's Core was rotten.
PROCLAIMER: Click to THE SNEE frequently for some brief escape and deliciously foolish fun!