Are you a Meatatarian? Do you wish that your meals consisted of only meat? Are you tired of having vegetables pushed on you? Tired of feeling descriminated against?
The food scientists who discovered Tofurkey are proud to introduce the VEGELOG: an all natural, vitamin fortified, gluten, preservative, hormone & antibiotic-free vegetable analogue made from animal byproducts for people
who choose not to eat vegetables because:
They don't like their taste.
They don't like the way vegetables are harvested and picked.
They hear agonizing screams from the garden as vegetables are picked from their beds and separated from their mother plants who have struggled so hard to put down roots.
They can't digest vegetables due to allergies and other medical conditions.
The broccoli and carrot analogues are being introduced just in time for the holidays in the refrigerator section of health food stores and supermarkets. You'll find them right next to the popular meat analogues!
You can stop stewing over your situation meatatarians! Now holiday meals can be satisfying for everyone. Omnivores, herbivores and carnivores can celebrate together in peace knowing there's something for everybody.
"I love the vegelog! You'd never know that it's made from meat!" Maggie Storrs
"Vegelog is amazing. I eat carrots everyday now, and it doesn't bother my stomach, or make me turn orange!" The Murderous Carrot
"It's vegetably"! Michael Storrs
"Real broccoli gives me gas, but the vegelog broccoli leaves the air clean around me! I have more friends than ever before!" The Snee's Elusive Reporter, The Shadowman
"We're going to carry vegelogs in our Golf hempwear store. It's a portable high protein snack for our customers who are out on the course all day!" Wilson Verdi: Co-director of Go Green, All Natural Hemp-made Golf Apparel Outlet.
DISCLAIMER: Advertisements in THE SNEE are 100 percent fiction. Any resemblance to real products is completely coincidental.
PROCLAIMER: Hopefully this ad was not offensive to our vegetarian readers...All in good fun. Read here about the science of meat analogues. It's kind of amazing. You'll soy wish you could get some cheeseless cheese and some meatless meat.