PETA CONDEMNS BIBLICAL TEXT! Sacrificial Lamb Must be Deleted!

PETA members (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), led by renowned animal right’s activist, Lydia Verdi, rallied in front of Born to Believe Houses of Worship where religions are home-brewed and deeply steeped in a wrought iron age kettle. 

Lydia Verdi Sports a stylish Jean Jacket in Front of Homebrewed House of Worship.

She and her enthusiastic followers vehemently condemn the inhumane treatment of lambs within holy books. "Lambs are the victims of grotesque sacrifices on the behalf of humanity," Lydia proclaimed. "We will no longer tolerate the use of disturbing imagery in these texts and demand that the sacrificial lamb be here-forth deleted from the Bible!"

Ghent Altarpiece: Adoration of the Lamb

Lamb, a heteronym with a complex and disturbing literary history, is the innocent descendant of domestic baby sheep. It is historically recognized as a member of the vulnerable group of baby mammals who repeatedly save humanity from God’s wrath.  Since before the time of the Old Testament to the present, these creatures have submitted themselves to slaughter for food, sacrifice, textile development and covert communication operations in the form of blood code.

Their role as humanity’s meekest, baby animal superhero has also inspired word smiths to create metaphors as in “To go on the Lam” indicating a manner of quick escape to avoid getting into trouble.  It is used to describe how one behaves in a variety of situations like at the symphony or when in hiding as in the expression, “be quiet like a lamb”. It also aptly characterizes the month of March when weather is tumultuous as in, "comes in like a lion and out like a lamb." Lamb also means a lunar crater which might be a good place to hide quietly like a lamb when you are on the lam, especially if someone who believes in God Appeasement is chasing you.  "Protect our Lambs! God is evolved enough as a sentient being to accept a simple Thank You Note or Visa Gift Card." chided Lydia.

The Houses of Worship protest that the deletion of the sacrificial lamb will deem the bible confusing to children who will not understand the Covenant with God, or the meaning of metaphors used in language to convey important lessons on behavior. "We venerate the lamb," said Paul Ryan, a frequent tea party attendee. "Without the lamb,  how will we explain to our children the necessity of walking like sheep to slaughter!" he emphasized right before taking a sip of black tea shipped from China.

BBC PHOTO OF THE YEAR:  Lambs thru the lens of a black and white world.

In a watershed moment at yesterday's rally, BaBa Black Sheep stepped up to the Microphone to offer his  heartfelt rendition of Mother Goose's Nursery Rhyme to the well meaning crowd. "I really hope this poem reminds people how important it is to protect the lambs from undue harm," he said. We don't mind sharing our three bags full of wool with the master, the dame and the little boy who lives down the lane, but we resent being used as sacrifices and symbols.  We formerly reject Biblical texts that advocate the use of lamb for either a sacrifice, or a meal!" Humans must find a new superhero!

William Wallace Denslow: 1902

Fortunately, all is not lost. Walmart's new Organic Tree of Life Section, is offering an acceptable mock lamb, made out of tofu, water soluble sugar, sage, thyme and pepper as an alternative for all religious occasions. "You can't even tell the difference!" exclaimed Lydia who scarfed it up with homemade organic mint jelly.

 

DISCLAIMER: This is a Lambpoon. No Baby Animals were sacrificed to write this story.  PETA advocates on behalf of animals, but did not endorse, nor create this story line.  Just in case it isn't clear. THE SNEE is completely fictional!

PROCLAIMER: Bah! Humbug! Does this post look familiar? Sometimes a Sneepeat is necessary, and like a nursery rhyme bears repetition.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB   Illustration by w:en:William Wallace Denslow

In the 1830s, Lowell Mason set the nursery rhyme, "Mary had a Little Lamb" to a melody adding repetition in the verses. Paul McCartney with Wings could not resist singing and recording these enchanting lyrics for posterity.  Do click on it.  The edges of your mouth will either curl up, or your jaw will drop. 

It is reminiscent of Leonard Nimoy's video debut with hobbits which you can see over at the wonderous PsychoCarnival.