PETA members (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), led by renowned animal right’s activist, Lydia Verdi, rallied in front of Born to Believe Houses of Worship where religions are home-brewed and deeply steeped in a wrought iron age kettle.
Lydia Verdi Sports a stylish Jean Jacket in Front of Homebrewed House of Worship.
She and her enthusiastic followers vehemently condemn the inhumane treatment of lambs within holy books. "Lambs are the victims of grotesque sacrifices on the behalf of humanity," Lydia proclaimed. "We will no longer tolerate the use of disturbing imagery in these texts and demand that the sacrificial lamb be here-forth deleted from the Bible!"
Ghent Altarpiece: Adoration of the Lamb
Lamb,
a heteronym with a complex and disturbing literary history, is the innocent descendant of domestic baby sheep. It is historically recognized as a member of the vulnerable group of baby
mammals who repeatedly save humanity from God’s wrath. Since before the time of the Old Testament to the
present, these creatures have submitted themselves to slaughter for food,
sacrifice, textile development and covert communication operations in the form
of blood code.
Their role as humanity’s meekest, baby animal superhero has also inspired word smiths to create metaphors as in “To go on the Lam” indicating a manner of quick escape to avoid getting into trouble. It is used to describe how one behaves in a variety of situations like at the symphony or when in hiding as in the expression, “be quiet like a lamb”. It also aptly characterizes the month of March when weather is tumultuous as in, "comes in like a lion and out like a lamb." Lamb also means a lunar crater which might be a good place to hide quietly like a lamb when you are on the lam, especially if someone who believes in God Appeasement is chasing you. "Protect our Lambs! God is evolved enough as a sentient being to accept a simple Thank You Note or Visa Gift Card." chided Lydia.
The Houses of Worship protest that the deletion of the Sacrificial lamb will deem the bible confusing to children who will not understand the Covenant with God, or the meaning of metaphors used in language to convey important lessons on behavior. "We venerate the lamb," said Wally Wordy. "Without the lamb, we are like sheep to slaughter!" he emphasized while having his feet cleaned and massaged by displaced gara ruffa(pedicure fish) who agreed to work for him without pay in exchange for a free hiding place.In a watershed moment at yesterday's rally, BaBa Black Sheep stepped up to the Microphone to offer his heartfelt rendition of Mother Goose's Nursery Rhyme to the well meaning crowd. "I really hope this poem reminds people how important it is to protect the lambs from undue harm," he said. We don't mind sharing our three bags full of wool with the master, the dame and the little boy who lives down the lane, but we resent being used as sacrifices and symbols. We formerly reject Biblical texts that advocate the use of lamb for either a sacrifice, or a meal and will reject all religions that use books which include this imagery to worship God!"
William Wallace Denslow: 1902
Fortunately, all is not lost. Walmart's new Organic Tree of Life Section, is offering an acceptable mock lamb, made out of tofu, water soluble sugar, sage, thyme and pepper as an alternative for all religious occasions. "You can't even tell the difference!" exclaimed Lydia who scarfed it up with homemade organic mint jelly.
BBC PHOTO OF THE YEAR
Lambpoon: No baby animals were sacrificed to write this story.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Illustration by w:en:William Wallace Denslow
In the 1830s, Lowell Mason set the nursery rhyme, "Mary had a Little Lamb" to a melody adding repetition in the verses. Paul McCartney with Wings could not resist singing and recording these enchanting lyrics for posterity.
Proclaimer: Lambs are cute!