POPE AND CIRCUMSTANCE! Phoneliness Motivates Papal Conclave to Quick Decision!!

Cardinals enter Conclave clutching their laptops disguised as old-fashioned brief cases.

Reporters at THE SNEE just got wind of a breaking news story!

YES...THE SNEE was in the Sistine Chapel serenading the poor isolated Chaps while they voted for the next Pope using ballots.  All digital and telecommunication signals were jammed so that the Cardinals couldn't access social media during the top secret deliberations. A clever idea if the Vatican still wants to communicate using smoke signals in this day and age.

Historically, the Cardinals were tucked away with lack of food and drink in order to motivate them to make a decision. Apparently, THE SNEE's singing combined with internet deprivation is a much stronger incentive than limited nourishment. In less than 72 hours white smoke rising from the chimney revealed that one hundred and fifteen Cardinals had successfully elected a new Pope!  Congratulations to Pope Francis from Argentina!

Click the link below to hear THE SNEE's papal serenade. Hmmm....Maybe Cardinals should Tweet and THE SNEE should stick to writing.

 

 Listen to " Without Our Phones, Conclaving" and make it a ring tone!

WITHOUT OUR PHONES CONCLAVING (to the tune, "Alone Again Naturally" by Gilbert O'Sullivan)

Cardinals one fifteen

In the lovely Chapel Sistine

Where we pray to him, we'll say to him

Choose a Pope who likes flat screens.

But we're feeling all alone

No access to our phones

In an effort to make clear to us

That we use pen and paper

To vote for the pope and the smoke

We make from ballots

It might be white, it might be black

I wish we'd use the Chimney ap

We wish we could go home

To cuddle with our phones

Stuck in the Vatican, Conclaving

 

It seems to me that Uncle Google's

Wishing we were back on-line

To ask him, important questions

Like who should we, Elect to be....

 

The next Pope in the line

Will we choose someone with spine?

A man who twitters, and isn't too bitter

Who knows the internet is divine

We're all so very old

Dear Yahoo. save our souls

I ain't going to lie, I wish I'd die

I'm tired of debating

About who will be Pope

I can't cope without my iPad

I'm truly, awfully filled with dread

All I see are robes of red

So I really want to pray

Please tell me yesterday

Who will we throne?

I want my phone!

Stuck in the Vatican, Conclaving.

DISCLAIMER: THE SNEE is a Satire News Site and has virtually no experience with recordings and internet interfaces. 

PROCLAIMER: This post is evidence that I am now a Typepad blogging buffoon! Thank you to this photoblogger for the above photo  and to Google for the montage which I then butchered with thought bubbles.

And here's the real deal! ALONE AGAIN, NATURALLY by Gilbert O'Sullivan