Chicken Pusher caught on camera exposing her breast.
"WE WILL NOT TOLERATE CHICKEN PUSHERS!" announced, C.A.R.E.(Chicken Abuse Resistance Education) Coordinator, Igaina Whately, to a concerned group of vegetarians whose numbers are diminishing at an alarming rate. "Individuals who have made a choice to live meat-free are being targeted by poultry groups to break their vows with a bite of chicken! It ends here! NOW!" Thunderous applause erupted among the victimized crowd.
Twenty one year old, Luigi Broccolini, a former vegetarian, stepped up to the microphone, in a tension-filled moment that can only be described as...tense. "I was a victim of chicken pushing at the tender age of 17. I was an avid lacrosse player in high school and my coach told me that I was too skinny and needed a protein boost. He suggested chicken, telling me that it wasn't really meat. It was chicken. I was reticent. I mean, I hadn't been a carnivore since I was 8 years old! But my desire to be a great athlete made me vulnerable. Coach bought me a bucket of chicken, and I tried a leg, and well.....I was hooked. Before I knew it, I opened my mouth to the other white meat; pork, followed by ground beef, then steak and then..GULP...lamb. Chicken is so much more than just a bird, it's a gateway meat!"
Chicken Abuse Resistance Education(CARE) is an early intervention program for vegetarians at risk for eating meat. CARE gives non-carnivores tools, education and fortitude to say no to chicken, a known gateway meat for individuals who choose to live meat-free. So often vegetarians are weakened by smooth talking meat eaters who are uncomfortable with the vegetarian's choice to eat plant matter. CARE is here to protect, defend and aid vegetarians who are being targeted by chicken pushers.
Chicken Promoters Flee as Protest Groups Taunt Them with, "Bwah, bwa-bwa-bwah bwah!"
New Google Listing of CARE Confuses Search Engines as New Case of Heteronymphomania ( H1TN1) Internet Virus is Documented. Web Insiders Fear New Epidemic!
Vegequariums Claim Fish Pushers are in Cahoots with Chicken Industry!
The "It tastes like chicken" Slogan is Banned from Advertising Campaigns for Meat and Vegelogs!
DISCLAIMER: All Contents in THE SNEE are fictional. The chicken industry is too busy competing with the other white meat to pay attention to vegetarians.
PROCLAIMER:DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) is an actual early intervention program for children who are at risk for using and abusing drugs.
RECLAIMER: THE SNEE's humerous bone was retrieved after a poultrygeist flew the coop.
CHICKEN AGENDA EXPOSED! At-Risk Vegetarians Bite Off the Legs of Chicken Pushers!
Has this happened to you?
Chicken Pusher caught on camera exposing her breast.
"WE WILL NOT TOLERATE CHICKEN PUSHERS!" announced, C.A.R.E.(Chicken Abuse Resistance Education) Coordinator, Igaina Whately, to a concerned group of vegetarians whose numbers are diminishing at an alarming rate. "Individuals who have made a choice to live meat-free are being targeted by poultry groups to break their vows with a bite of chicken! It ends here! NOW!" Thunderous applause erupted among the victimized crowd.
Twenty one year old, Luigi Broccolini, a former vegetarian, stepped up to the microphone, in a tension-filled moment that can only be described as...tense. "I was a victim of chicken pushing at the tender age of 17. I was an avid lacrosse player in high school and my coach told me that I was too skinny and needed a protein boost. He suggested chicken, telling me that it wasn't really meat. It was chicken. I was reticent. I mean, I hadn't been a carnivore since I was 8 years old! But my desire to be a great athlete made me vulnerable. Coach bought me a bucket of chicken, and I tried a leg, and well.....I was hooked. Before I knew it, I opened my mouth to the other white meat; pork, followed by ground beef, then steak and then..GULP...lamb. Chicken is so much more than just a bird, it's a gateway meat!"
Chicken Abuse Resistance Education(CARE) is an early intervention program for vegetarians at risk for eating meat. CARE gives non-carnivores tools, education and fortitude to say no to chicken, a known gateway meat for individuals who choose to live meat-free. So often vegetarians are weakened by smooth talking meat eaters who are uncomfortable with the vegetarian's choice to eat plant matter. CARE is here to protect, defend and aid vegetarians who are being targeted by chicken pushers.
BREAKING NEWS HEADLINES!
Congress Passes Food Choice Freedom Act!
Anti-Choice Proponents Picket Free Choice Food Clinic!
Chicken Promoters Flee as Protest Groups Taunt Them with, "Bwah, bwa-bwa-bwah bwah!"
New Google Listing of CARE Confuses Search Engines as New Case of Heteronymphomania ( H1TN1) Internet Virus is Documented. Web Insiders Fear New Epidemic!
Vegequariums Claim Fish Pushers are in Cahoots with Chicken Industry!
The "It tastes like chicken" Slogan is Banned from Advertising Campaigns for Meat and Vegelogs!
DISCLAIMER: All Contents in THE SNEE are fictional. The chicken industry is too busy competing with the other white meat to pay attention to vegetarians.
PROCLAIMER: DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) is an actual early intervention program for children who are at risk for using and abusing drugs.
RECLAIMER: THE SNEE's humerous bone was retrieved after a poultrygeist flew the coop.
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Tags: Chicken, DARE, Food Choices, Humor, Poultry, Satire, Vegetarianism